Gratitude.

To say that this has been an interesting pregnancy would be an understatement. As I've thought about my chosen word for the year, "live," it has helped me to process and frame my pregnancy experience in new ways. It would be easy for me to be frustrated, depressed, whiny, and crabby--I know this, because I have experienced all of these feelings over the past couple of months (no claims of perfection here!). Over the past couple of months my doctor has been putting more and more restrictions on what I am allowed to do, putting me on modified bed rest, and then just dropping the "modified" completely about a month ago. No more picking up Savannah, no more real cooking, no more morning walks, no more 10-minute showers, no more running errands . . . like I said, frustrated, depressed, whiny, and crabby? Yeah, been there, done that.

The day we returned from Utah (Saturday, January 3) I received a phone call from a girl in my ward asking about my restrictions and what I needed. The next day I received another phone call from this same person informing me that I would be getting some help. Since then I have had someone come to pick up Savannah every morning to play and then bring her home and put her down for a nap for me. Then in the afternoon another person comes and helps me get Savannah up from her nap, does things around the house (like the dishes), helps to keep Savannah entertained, and then helps get dinner on the table which is delivered by yet another person in the early evening.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "From the beginning down through the dispensations, God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for His children . . . . I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods . . . . Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind."

As I think about my word and what it means to live our lives, I am able to put away my negative feelings and I am left with simple gratitude. Gratitude for my personal angels that have been doing for my family what I cannot do. Gratitude for those same angels for giving me such good examples of what it means to serve another. Gratitude for the opportunity to get to know some of the women at church a bit better. Gratitude for the wonderful meals we have been eating for dinner. Gratitude for a wonderful kind, patient, and loving husband. Gratitude for a wonderful little girl. Gratitude for a healthy baby. Gratitude for a good doctor. Gratitude for life in general. And definitely gratitude that pregnancy doesn't last longer than it already does! Lao Tzu said, "Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."